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The flu and my parents

June 10, 2009

Today I have been house bound as I have the flu (or a really bad cold, not sure how you can tell the difference)… So the lack of activity and being on m own has forced some thinking… My thoughts have drifted towards my parents, who after 41 years have separated few months ago, my mum is now living in England (BTW she does not speak English) and my dad has left the apartment where we grew up to live closer to his sisters. I had never had the privilege of discussing such a difficult choice with people who are close to me. The thing, which surprises me, is the amount of resentment they have towards each other for things which have happen more than 20 years ago. Now the question from me to them was, why not getting divorced 20/30 years ago where you can create a new life for yourself?
My mum answer was that she did not walk out because of me and my brother and simply she did not come from a time and a place where one walks out for lack of happiness. My answer to that she created a hell for herself, which was somewhat pointless as both me and my brother felt the enormous tension at home and left at the first opportunity. My dad answer is, well everybody got problems…. Now my mum is living a second youth, going for week-end in London, going to the theatre (which she always liked), enjoying the gran children.

I can mainly draw two lessons from this, It is important not to walk away at the first sign of difficulty, whatever you do. But it is also important to realize when that effort is pointless and one has to walk away and try something different.

Luca

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